I’m very grateful for the clarity and immediacy of good!
A couple weekends ago, Lindsey and I were up at Mt. Bachelor snowboarding for our last time of the season. There were some awesome powder fields, and some not-so-awesome ice fields. I was also riding a new board and for my whole first run down, I was hit by wave after wave of fear – hit then subside, hit then subside. Looking back, it was a pretty clear example of willpower not cutting it. What I mean is that, I was trying really hard to convince myself that everything was alright, and of course I’d be fine – but then more evidence would try to present itself to ‘explain’ why I was, in fact, not going to be OK.
On the way up the lift the second time, I quit trying to will the fear away – quit trying to convince myself everything was fine – and just got quiet. Right away, I heard an angel message: “That is not your thought.” Now, this wasn’t something I was looking for or expecting to hear. It really shook me up – broke the mesmerism, you might say – and I said, “Oh! OK!” and that was that. If something is not mine, then…there you go. It’s not mine. I don’t consider myself a thief, so I wouldn’t take something that is not mine, and fear is certainly not something I started out with (which I know because fear is utterly unGodlike, so I can’t include it in my individual, inseparable expression of God).
That simple idea, “That’s not your thought” was so illuminating. And I was able to enjoy the whole rest of the day completely free of fear. And this was really inspiring in another way, too. It showed me that I don’t have to scrabble madly for some healing thought and hope I can hold it tight. I am, in fact, one with God – so the angels I need, the messages of Christ, must be immediate and NOW. The very thought that we could somehow be away from God and thus need to scramble to search for some healing truth is a lie, itself.
We are all so loved, right now, and that will never change. Not only is fear not our thought, there is also nothing to be afraid of. If God made nasty, scary, or debilitating stuff, we probably SHOULD be afraid of it. But there is nothing to fear, either. We get to sing out right along with Jude 1:24,25 about where our thought rests – in the glory of God.
Enjoy this great day!