Today, I want to share a healing I’ve had through relying on Christian Science. I’ve spoken a lot in my past posts about Christian Science healing, and it’s time for a testimony of that!
In the fall quarter of my final year of college, I was mostly focusing on choreographing a dance with a friend to perform in the annual Dance Production in the winter. Dancing had been a core focus for me all through college, and I was thrilled for this opportunity to give back to the community in this way. I was active all the time, needing my full range of motion to be able to keep perfecting this piece. However, one weekend, I was playing a game with some friends, and I slipped and fell heavily onto the floor and slid into a metal corner. My knee took the full force of this impact. I had to leave the game right away, as I could barely bend my knee and could hardly put any weight on it. The next day, I went to get crutches, and all of a sudden I realized what this might mean for my dancing. If I couldn’t walk without crutches, how could I rehearse in ballet class, let alone do the complicated movements needed for the dance I was working on?
Through studying Christian Science, I’ve learned that the first thing to handle is always the fear. In the Bible, we read “Perfect love casteth out fear.” (I John 4:18, KJV Bible) Now, this is God’s perfect love we’re talking about. His love (which is absolutely perfect) doesn’t allow any room for fear, or any consciousness of anything unlike His goodness. This was very important for me, because my fear of not being able to complete my dance, or even dance again any time soon, was keeping me from being able to settle into the overwhelming love of God and completely lean on Him for my health and happiness. By holding to the fact that God’s perfect love has already cast out fear, I could focus on the great gifts that God is always giving – the daily bread that Christ Jesus speaks of in the Lord’s Prayer. (Matthew 6:11)
My ballet instructor had a class policy that if we were unable to participate in the exercise, we should still attend class and journal about what we saw in the class – notes about how to execute a combination and reflections on the qualities we saw being expressed. I was grateful for this opportunity to still participate in class! This was a great exercise to keep me completely focused on qualities, rather than on the frightening physical picture.
A foundational thing for me in my practice of Christian Science is that I (and everyone) is an idea, an expression, of God. Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer and founder of Christian Science, describes this in many ways in her textbook, Science and Health, with Key to the Scriptures, and one that has caught my eye is this: “The spiritual man’s consciousness and individuality are reflections of God. They are the emanations of Him who is Life, Truth, and Love.” (page 336, line 14) Now, this is completely natural: if something exists, it must be expressed. If I have an idea for a dance, it must be danced – otherwise, the dance doesn’t really exist. If I go running, my hands move up and down and my feet move more or less quickly – that’s what naturally happens when you run. Likewise, God is. Therefore, He must be expressed, and man is that expression.
Before this incident with my knee, I had often thought about how I could express God better: being nice, responsible, joyful, friendly – all good qualities! Now, though, as I hobbled back and forth across campus, I couldn’t see how I could express God when there clearly seemed to be something wrong with me. Although I was still more or less holding onto my original thought about having no fear for the future, I was getting despondent about each present moment. One day in ballet class, though, all that changed.
I was so focused on the qualities I saw being expressed around me as my friends did beautiful jumps, turns, and combinations that just as the light streamed in through the window over the trees outside, I suddenly felt filled with inspiration. I realized that when my friend did an amazing jump, I wouldn’t say to the jump, “Good job!” I would tell my friend! The expression of grace, strength, and agility was beautiful and useful, and very necessary, but all the responsibility for that expression was on the dancer. In the same way, as an expression of God, all I could ever do was simply be His expression. The responsibility and the perfection was always, and will always be, God’s. I didn’t even have to try to fix myself, or slowly become a better expression of God. God has already made me whole! God IS whole, good, perfect, Life, Truth, Love. Since my whole source is entirely based in Him, I can turn to Him alone for my health, instead of feeling like I had to wade through time and worried prayers to try to “get back” to God. God is ever-present, so He is expressed forever. Therefore, I knew I could see His goodness expressed here and now.
This inspiration absolutely made my day. I basked in this light, and soon thereafter I got out on the floor and finished the class with the rest of my friends. That afternoon, I took the crutches back to the nurse’s office and was completely free from then on. Now, this had taken a little more than 3 weeks. After a week of being back in class, my dance instructor (a dear friend and mentor for me) told me that my skill and ability had increased as if I had been participating in class for more than a month, rather than sitting OUT of class for less than a month. I found it completely natural, though, that my focusing on the qualities expressed should allow me to jump in fully prepared, and better than when I started. We rejoiced together in this!
Well, the dance my friend and I choreographed went very successfully, and all my classes from then on were smooth and joyful. As an interesting side-note, from that time on through today, I have never again had any trouble with my knees – I had used to get pains every now and then, and every so often a leap in ballet or a quick juke in ultimate frisbee would leave me hobbling for a day or so. But this healing has been complete and permanent!
Now, I’m very grateful for this healing, of course. What I’m even more grateful for, though, is that this healing was not chance. It didn’t happen because I’m special, and it wasn’t a one-time thing. This healing was a natural, effective outcome of the divine laws of God. Christian Science makes these laws clear and available to all. Understanding the laws of aerodynamics allows people to build safe and effective airplanes. Likewise, understanding the laws of God allows us to understand how to follow Jesus’ commands of “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8, KJV Bible)
I’m so grateful for this healing, and so many others I have had. It’s a great privilege and pleasure to be in the company of so many women and men around the world who are devoting their lives to this effective, healing practice of Christian Science!